Chapter six
And then...?
The story you just have read was written in October 2000, when Richard and I had lived together for 8 or 9 months. It is now several years later. We have gotten to know each other real good, like most couples that stay together for some years. Our love is strong, but many things have happened. The first years were hard for Richard to melt into the Swedish society. I think he still feels rather uncomfortable in this country even though it slowly gets better.
The hardest part is to find a decent job. He had a good job in Fresno as a computer tech. In Sweden it is required to have University diplomas and papers from former employments to get a job in the computer business. Unfortunately Richard didn't have "the right" papers with him to be fortunate with a good job. The first three years he was delivering papers in the night, and that was real straining for him. He also has had a few occasional jobs, but still he hasn't found any full time decent job. However he helps me with my business, troubleshooting programming errors as well as helping with business presentations in our home.
The long, grey, cold, rainy and snowy winters have made him more or less depressed from time to time. The lack of sun is difficult for most Swedes. Therefore all good Swedes are outside in the sun as much as possible during the short sunny part of the year. The first summer was the most wonderful summer in his entire life. The weather was sunny but not too hot. I still had my car so we could go out on small trips around the country. And we were tremendously in love. Now Richard hates the short summers and the long winters. It doesn't get even close to as warm as in California or in Texas where he grew up. When the weather is perfectly warm for me, even a little too hot, it still is too cool for him. Sometimes he longs for his home country - at least the wheather there.
However, we live a good life in Sweden, and Richard says himself that he is becoming more and more like a Swede ("Oh my God! I am becoming Swedish!") when he notices that he uses Swedish words when he can't remember the English, or when he almost enjoys watching the European Song Contest with me. I am amused, but I understand the difficult feelings of not feeling completely at home in any country. Those are the feelings many immigrants in most countries have. Your heart will always belong to the place where you were born, no matter where you live.
In 2005 we bought an apartment together after looking for an apartment for 5 years. The first five years were financially hard for us. That always makes it difficult on every matters of the relationship. But we have managed so far, and life is getting better.
When we met in 1999 we decided to live together for the rest of our lives, and we still wish to do that. Love and life is not always easy to deal with, but as long as you keep the love feeling burning everything is possible.