Chapter three
First meeting
So, the day when we were to meet came closer. My former fiancé visited me in my new home and demanded me to tell Richard not to come. I almost called him to tell him to stay at home, but this was only a few hours before the plane was leaving so I didn't even know if he was already on his way to the airport in Los Angeles.
I was to meet Richard in Copenhagen railroad station. He took the flight from LA to Amsterdam and the train from Amsterdam to Copenhagen to make the travel cheaper. On Midsummer's day I took an early "flying boat" to Copenhagen from Malmö and walked in the rain through the streets towards the railroad station. I had done my hair nice and put some make up on. The morning rain poured through my hair and along my cheeks. I was thinking that his first sight of this "Kartis live" would be shocking for him. I was running to try to make the time in the rain shorter, but of course I was already soaking wet half way to the station.
I reached the station with my heart beating hard. The streets of the city had been almost dead, since it was a holiday, but inside the station it was like an ant farm. People everywhere. How was I to see anyone looking like the guy on the pictures Richard had sent me? I trusted my intuition and I was convinced that I would recognise him whenever I saw him. I walked around the entire station several times without seeing anyone looking like the one on the pictures. I went to the information to ask if the train from Amsterdam was late, but the line there was about 20 minutes long. By the time I was asking about the train it was already 30 minutes since it arrived to Copenhagen. I hoped he was still there!
I started another trip around the station, this time the opposite direction. And there, sitting on a bench, I saw a man looking almost like the one on the pictures. I saw him from about 25 meters distance so I wasn't sure. He saw me too and as I walked towards him I asked with gestures if he was Richard. He nodded and started walking towards me too. When we met we hugged for a long while. My feelings were still confused, but I knew that this was the one my soul waited for. My inner self was feeling like a beat dog in the rain after all I had been through. So all the sudden I felt a little unsure if this was a good idea. Now, in this wonderful hug it struck me that I didn't know this person at all. The cartoon character from EverQuest was standing here in Copenhagen crying in my arms. Wouldn't it have been better to stay fighting against gnolls in Split paw cave? Reality struck me like the lightning. Was this the brave druid Kalam, or was it someone else who by mistake walked up and hugged me?
Still, walking hand in hand out from the station, I had my doubts if this was the right person. At last he mentioned something about EverQuest, and I knew this must be Richard/Kalam that I had been talking with so much and fallen in love with on the Internet. I noticed though, that he was just as fun to walk and talk with as in the game. We were laughing the whole time. We searched the streets of Copenhagen to find an open café. Both of us were hungry and longed for coffee. After walking around for long while, talking and laughing we found a café we already passed a few times without noticing it was open.
It felt like in a fairy tale. Still on the boat to Malmö my inner self was struggling against what was happening. All the sudden Richard kissed me. In that moment all my defence broke down. This was the man I had longed for, no doubt!
The first day was the longest in our lives. We never wanted it to end, but after a long, long while it was gone and the next day came, almost as long as the first day. For each day that went by time ran faster. The twenty-eight days Richard was here were filled with so much happiness, love, laughing and crying. Yes, we cried both of us. We cried because both of us were so happy to be together even though it seemed hopeless. But we also cried because of the limited time. Both of us knew that we wanted to stay together for the rest of our lives, the question was HOW. We spent hours and hours discussing what to do. We knew that Richard had to go back to California. I wanted to come with him, but I had no money for the ticket. Both of us were poor like rats in the church, so the possibilities for him to come back to Sweden again were small as well. We prayed for some opportunity to show up for us to make it possible to stay together.
The last day came. I was to go with Richard to Copenhagen railroad station again, but all morning I was in the bathroom feeling sick. We cried from despair. He had to leave. It felt like someone was trying to dig out my heart with a dull knife. I finally recovered to catch the very last boat possible to Copenhagen. At the station we had a quick coffee with Danish wienerbröd before Richard had to go to his train. Both of us crying, although trying to be strong, he went aboard. The train slowly left the station. The last thing he said was: "I will do everything to come back to you." After the train was gone, I stood there hoping he would come walking back after jumping off the train. In vain I waited a long while until I had to go back to the boat. The loneliness covered me like a heavy coat. I walked crying back to the flying boats in Copenhagen harbour.